Bishop Macedo answers - My husband is lazy. Should I file for divorce?
Question:
I have a problem. I have been married now for 4 years. I dated my husband very little time and I got pregnant. I love my husband very much, but there’s a problem: he has little education. He is lazy, has no sence of style, has no comprehention of anything. I have to be “his legs” in other words. It’s like I have another child. He’s 4 years younger than me and I try to talk to him but he just doesn’t care about anything. He has no desire to interact with his kid and that drives me crazy! I have to do all the bill paying, I work all day, I go to church (which is the only sanity that I maintain), I have to make all doctor appoints for him, I have to explain everything to him in baby words so that he can understand, I carry all the responsibilities plus cooking, cleaning, laundry, even fixing things around the house! Now I’m ready to move on to opening a store but I don’t want to do this all by myself. I don’t want him to enjoy the luxuries and not work for anyting. He does go to church with me but he doesn’t pray like he should. I asked if he wanted to fast together and he looked at me like I had three heads. He wants to enjoy a good life, but he doesn’t want to work. I feel like the reason why he goes to church is because he gets to go out somewhere.
My problem is that I fear that if this continues I’ll have to file for a divorce. He gets a day off a week and he can’t bring himself to pick things up off the floor. I am physically exhausted and I am very stressed out. I am with the kids 7 days a week and I work 5 days a week. What should I do?
- Anonymous
Answer:
You married a man whom you feel is not compatible to you, now you need to make yourself compatible to him. It’s no use for you to look down on him now. Be a wife and help him as the Lord instructed you to do… be a suitable helper. It’s not your husband’s fault that you’re both so different - stop blaming him or making him feel small, but instead, help him be the husband you wish him to be.
Posted by Edir Macedo
Portuguese
Spanish
April 24th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
I’m very sorry to learn about that, I thought maybe I’m the only woman strugling from that, I have not told anybody about my husband but everyday is a struggle. he does not work and lives on social benefits and goes to college once a week but only what he knows is football, thats all he can tell you. we have three teenagers and at times I feel very low as I’m an asylum seeker and not allowed to work, lets just pray I know how what you are going through and I understand. every sunday it’s football we nolonger go to church anymore because of the spirit of laziness, it is a spirit not to be ignored and sorry youand me are going such times.
April 26th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Dear Mamzo, Bp Macedo has answered the question very wisely and that response can help both of you to help your husbands. Show to him a good example and for sure he is going to change! Please don’t stay at home on Sundays, he can be lazy for now but don’t let his lazyness affects you as well. Pray that God will change his heart and give him a heart of a man who is able to support his family. living on benefit is not good for family as you always will be in short of money, I know that for sure because I have been there before I married, well I was in full time education and ignorant as well, but when I discovered the UCKG, I learned much about life and everything! Now I am hapily married with 3 happy children, I have my own business and my wife is going back to University because we were both young when we got married and she had 3 children, now it’s time to go back to school as God is poviding for us, our business is doing good and I am planning many things. Trist in God and fight for your life as there is not time to rest!! Satan will never rest, as he only want to destroy your life! so don’t accept the lazyness. Revolt agains that situation and God will manifest His power. God bless you
April 27th, 2009 at 4:07 am
Bishop,
How can i become a true woman of God
May 6th, 2009 at 10:26 am
A woman of God should be a person who puts her life on the alter or in the hands of GOD (Jesus Christ first. Then thereafter she should be part of her husband and a mother to their children if they have any. My second part is inspired by what Bishop Marcedo has advised another women who is married by somehow consider his husband lazy. It should be clear that people make choices because Jesus Christ does not overide the exercise of free will, but sometimes if they ignore the guidance of the Holy spirit , they suffer because they exercised their own free will and not accoring to what was the guidance of Jesus Christ or the Holy Spirit . We need to use our intelligent faith more and practice the word of God. The Campaign of Israel is an answeer to those who have tried many ways of sangomas , inyangas , prophets and they failed. If you need the miracles and the power of God to change your life completely please listen to your Pastors and revolt against any mediocrity and throw yourself into the Campaings and God will do his part.
Robert
Bloemfontein
August 6th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Bishop I am 100% in agreement with you. Too often we women thinks, and also believes that by the time the vows are exchanged it will get better, but that’s like putting a stamp of approval saying all is well. Two cannot walk unless you agree.
I do believe if you be am example to your husband, eventually he will follow. We tend to point a finger at the other party, when so many fingers are coming back at us. There is a book written by Bishop Macedo “Are we all God’s Children”, I do believe if you get hold of that book read it, you will not only be inspired, but you will be transformed.
Maria
1091 Fulton St.
September 17th, 2009 at 2:43 am
i have a question? is it a sin to marry a divorce?
i dont know how to send this question so i write it down here.
hoping for an answer..
thank you so much..
October 9th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Dear Jane,
No, it’s not a sin. If a person is divorced, then he or she can marry again.
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:55 am
I’ve the opposite problem, my wife is too active, her life depends on her job and church, she has no more time for me, If I try to explain to her clearly we need to invest some momements with for other but she keeps saying that I’m not in the faith and I feel like in the last place. This is very hard for me because we are always learning that lovelife comes after our salvation, but in my case I feel that our love life comes after her job, after the work of God, after her momement with family duties, after her own life and then finally me!
Please can anyone give me practical advice to change the situation.
February 10th, 2010 at 11:35 am
Bishop
about being a living sacrifice can you please explain that
thanks
February 14th, 2010 at 11:27 pm
Hello Harry T
May God Bless You You are very brave to bring this situation forth and i can understand how you are feeling but there is a question i would like to ask you, WHO ARE YOU PUTTING FIRST IN YOUR LIFE? Is it your wife? Is it your kids? Or is it yourself? If you answer yes to any of these questions then thats where the problem is at because the one that needs to be first in YOUR life is GOD and when you do this i GARANTEE you that this situation between you and your wife and family will be resolve
Trust in the Lord He has the solution ok